Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Preventive Measures for Flu Outbreaks

This is near & dear to my heart. I am all but fanatical since Drayke's birth and even more so since his death was caused by Type 1 flu. I have the bad feeling this flu pandemic is going to hit our littlest ones the hardest. Please take the time to take preventative measures.


The recent outbreak of swine flu has many people wondering what they can do to protect themselves and their families against this virus. Here are five simple precautionary measures from the Center for Disease Control (CDC):

1.Clean your hands often. Use soap and hot water and wash for at least 20 seconds — that’s about the amount of time it takes to sing “Happy Birthday” twice. If soap and water are not available, use alcohol-based hand sanitizers (The CDC recommends sanitizers with at least 60% alcohol concentration).
2.Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth — these are easiest paths for the virus to invade your body.
3.Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Throw the tissue away immediately after use, and then clean your hands. If a tissue is not immediately available, cough into your sleeve or elbow, NOT into your hands. (If you cough or sneeze into your hands, you can transfer the virus to the surfaces you touch, potentially exposing those who touch the same surfaces after you.)
4.Avoid close contact with those who are sick.
5.If you do become ill, stay at home to help prevent the spread of the virus.
If you have children, be sure to take the time to teach them these healthy habits. Good hygiene is one the best weapons we have to limit the spread of the flu, so stay clean to stay healthy!

Have new pictures



We now have the disk of pictures that were taken by the hospital photographer. There is so much pain in these pictures. I know Drayke wasnt feeling any pain but his father & I. It was painful just to look at us, seeing our world fall apart in our arms. Watching all of our hopes & dreams slowly fade away. This picture is probably the calmest shot of us that day.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

365 days ago today

Our little man, Drayke Alan, came into this world with a bang. He surprised everyone with the fact he chose to holler to let his mama know he was here. He may have been a teeny tiny little bug but he made his presence known to the world.

This morning at 9:55 I was at the rec center here in Lewisburg and parked by the childrens play area. I cried a bit and had a "conversation" with him. I told him how he was going to get a cupcake with a candle in it just like I did on my first birthday. He also would have gotten some clothes, a toy or 2 and a box with some wrapping paper to play with. Babies always seem more interested in the wrapping than the gift itself.

It's been a hard day so far. Hell, it's been a hard year. Over the last 3 months there has yet to be a full 24 hour period where I dont cry. I still try to figure out way for me to have another baby. Nobody could ever replace Drayke. Never. But I want a child so deeply that I believe it is the only thing that could fill the gaping emptyness in my soul. I want to feel the joy of holding my child in my arms again.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A wonderful gift

While I was sewing today, dad dropped a small package off on the table. I had no clue, he thought it was something from Ebay.

It was a beautiful card and two pendants one of the readers of this blog, sent to both of us in rememberance of Drayke's first birthday which is coming up on Tuesday. I just broke down. The thought was so touching and wonderful, I was overwhelmed as was dad. We held onto each other as we cried at the beauty of the gifts. 2 hearts in pure silver, each bearing Drayke's name and date of birth. On mine are 3 crystals representing his birthstone, diamond, and the 3 of us together. Just incredible. I have them safe in Drayke's urn until I put them on chains. I dont know why but that just felt right.




I want to thank you Lora. Yes, they will be worn and loved. Iam speechless at your caring. Hugs to you & yours.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Saturday is the big day

Both Saturday & Sunday are the walks for March of Babies in Lewisburg & Nashville, respectively. Dad is not going to make it on Saturday as that he has to goto school. Sunday is going to be the fun one though.

We are supposed to be having some celebrities walking with us including Nicole Kidman. So that will make for some great media covereage.

I am nowhere near my goal of $1000 but it was a pretty lofty goal for a first year so soon after the loss of Drayke. For next year I have some ideas twirling around in my head.

Friday, April 10, 2009

It was a year ago

I was admitted to the hospital a year ago today, yo make sure little man stayed where he was supposed to. I had gone in for a follow up visit with my OB/GYN. THe week before on April 2nd I had been terminated out of the blue from my job of more than a year. That was the beginning of the end of having a nice fairly simple pregnancy.

In January, two weeks after I had discovered that I was pregnant, I almost lost the baby due to bleeding. The doctor never found the cause for the two emergency room visits but I did go on bed rest for a week. After that point everything changed at work concerning my boss. He became a control freak and change the way we ran business in the processing department. However, everything with the pregnancy was going perfect. Drayke was growing and thriving. I had never felt better in my life as that pregnancy really suited me well.

When I was terminated in April, there was no written warning, no real discussion, only threatening email. That morning when I arrived at Dad's office I told him how my chest hurt & the baby was being extremely active. Dad drove me to the hospital in Nashville where I had planned on delivering Drayke and was told my blood pressure was 184/127. I stayed there for about 4 hours then was released home & to follow up the folling week with my OB. My blood pressure was better but I was spilling proteins. The doctor then told me that I was getting admitted.

So many things happened while I was in the hospital. Besides being in a panic over the job situation my house in Florida was broken into where every room took damage by a vagrant who decided he needed a place to live; watching tv in the afternoon, seeing storms with tornadoes go over our home here in Tennessee; being terrified of having to stay on bedrest and getting proceedures done to me that I had never expected. I was in an almost constant state of panic. I should have had the doctors give me some kind of anti anxiety med because it ended up causing me to have my son far too early.

There is a part of me that will always blame my former boss for terminating me at the worst possible time in my life and myself for not handling stress better, for the eventual loss of my son. To have a pregnancy go from being almost effortless to catastrophicly bad. There are so many "would have should have could haves" that go thru my mind every day, knowing that if things had been just a tad different in April of last year Drayke may have still been with us.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I am particiapting in the March of Dimes March for Babies in my son's name

Please sponsor Team Drayke as I walk to help prevent premature births. My son Drayke was a preemie who didnt make it. Let's not let it happen in the future.