Our little man, Drayke Alan, came into this world with a bang. He surprised everyone with the fact he chose to holler to let his mama know he was here. He may have been a teeny tiny little bug but he made his presence known to the world.
This morning at 9:55 I was at the rec center here in Lewisburg and parked by the childrens play area. I cried a bit and had a "conversation" with him. I told him how he was going to get a cupcake with a candle in it just like I did on my first birthday. He also would have gotten some clothes, a toy or 2 and a box with some wrapping paper to play with. Babies always seem more interested in the wrapping than the gift itself.
It's been a hard day so far. Hell, it's been a hard year. Over the last 3 months there has yet to be a full 24 hour period where I dont cry. I still try to figure out way for me to have another baby. Nobody could ever replace Drayke. Never. But I want a child so deeply that I believe it is the only thing that could fill the gaping emptyness in my soul. I want to feel the joy of holding my child in my arms again.