Happy birthday

4 years ago you came into my life in a big way little man. I am forever changed. Being told that the C section was happening that day. Telling everyone I am not gong into surgery without your daddy there. The amazing little cry you let out when the doctors took you to the examining table. "Is that him" I asked, amazed that I could hear you and how strong you sounded for someone so little. Five sticks of butter. That's how much you weighed. 1. lb 4.7 ounces. My tiny little fighter with the heart of a dragon. Love you forever sweetheart. You will always be the greatest love of my life.

3 Years Ago Today

I will always love you, my sweet little fighting dragon.

Angry

One of my former fellow NICU moms p[osted an article about how a child is being refused a transplant due to having brain damage. This brought back the memories of being at Centennial when were told how Drayke couldnt get his transplant because he needed to grow a bit more. When we tranferred to Vanderbilt the head of their NICU contacted St Louis Childrens to get the real scoop as to why Drayke was not accepted yet. They told him that Drayke was not ever a candidate due to the potential of him having brain damage due to being intubated his entire life. Potential brain damage. That is messed up.

If a person has a chance to live, even with brain damage (now if they are in a vegatative state that is a whole different thing) and can have a fairly normal life, then they should be allowed to have that chance. St Louis had no proof that Drayke had severe brain damage. He never showed any neurological problems. They assumed that if you are intubated for 5 months then you are going to have issues. Well, they are the ones who stated the minimum birth age was 28 weeks, so extreme prematurity is not the problem. They should not assume there is a problem when there is no documented proof there was any.

I am just angry today about this. I miss my son.