Wednesday, August 26, 2009

It has been so long ago and yet yesterday

It has been seven months today. I love you so much, my sweet little man. You are forever in my heart and thoughts.

Friday, August 21, 2009



It was a year ago today that we found out we were living on borrowed time with Drayke. It was the day he was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension and told there was no chance for survival. It was my mothers birthday and I had to call her to come to Tennessee so she could meet her grandson before he died. We were so blessed to have him for another five months.

http://draykecrom.blogspot.com/2008/08/115th-day-in-nicu.html

This has just been a really rough week.

Monday, August 17, 2009

A very sad day

Back on August 18th of last year a little girl was brought into Centennial NICU directly across from Drayke. She had been born the day before due to an emergency C-section. Being very premature she weighed 1 pound 4 ounces, almost the exact same weight as Drayke when he was born. I remember how frightened her mother, Nikki, was. I asked her to come over to Drayke's bed and look at how much progress he had made in his four months, weighing almost 8 pounds.

Payton has been at Vanderbilt for the last several months. Sucessfully had a trach and g-tube put in. She also had some surgeries on her eyes due to her extreme prematurity. She has been off nitric and has been on a home vent for the last week preparing to go home today, her first birthday. She was doing so good.

The powers that be had different plans. Some time late last night she passed away. I dont know the details & probably never will. Most can only imagine what it is like to have fought for so long for the life of your child. To see the light at the end of the long NICU tunnel only to have your very being yanked away from you.

I am beyond sad. This is devastating. Here is a child who's family constantly prayed over her, had such faith and this happens. For this to happen on her birthday AND the day she was to go home. I find that the powers that be, god/s, the fates, whatever, are intentionally cruel.

Why is it crack whores can punch out babies, not give a damn whether they live or die except for the check they bring in and yet women who would gladly give their own lives so their child could live watch the love of their life die in their arms? It's not fair. It's not right.

This has to end. Please support the March of Dimes and your local childrens hospital, especially if they are a research facility like Vanderbilt, St Louis Childrens, Pittsburgh Childrens, etc. Some day there will be a way to deal with prematurity complications and prevent these senseless deaths.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

While at Walmart the other day we saw the infant clothing clearence rack in the front of the store. They had marked it all to $1. Dad & I bought 53 outfits in preemie, newborn & 0-3 months sizes to donate to Vanderbilt NICU. I was crying the whole time I was pulling clothes off the rack but I remember how I felt when I would get a little outfit for Drayke from out of no where. I will always be thankful to Lilbuhnee for the clothes she sent us. Most of those clothes we donated to Centennial as Drayke was outgrowing them. I see it as kinda like paying it forward. Something as small as a simple onesie can bring a bit of joy to a fearful parent.

It would be lovely if people would goto their local Walmart, Target, KMart, whereever, go to the infant clearance rack and buy some preemie & newborn clothes. $10,$15 $20 worth, whatever you can spare. Take them to your local NICU and donate them. Trust me, you will make a stressed out parents day a shade brighter. Drayke's little Santa suit was donated to the NICU by an unknown person.

All of the baby clothes have now been washed, double rinsed, dried & put back onto hangers ready to be taken to the hospital. Now it figures I have a scratchy throat & cant go today. Pout. I miss his nurses & doctors.