It is hard to believe that it has been five years since my little man was born. It's been a year since I last posted here. Life has been empty since he died. I just cant quite get back in to the regular swing of things. Work is going very good but everything else, not so much. I have almost been in denial that it is April already. I awoke at 4:30 this morning crying where all I could think was I missed his birthday two days ago. Now, I cant stop crying.
I have a minimal relationship with Drayke's father as he now lives in Indiana. I was engaged to a man for a year, he moved here in August & left without a word in January. I recently had surgery on my scalp to remove a spot of skin cancer. My diabetes is out of control. I have lost my creative side.
It feels like I am going thru the motions of living but I have no life. I have no true happiness, no true serenity in my heart. A huge part of me died on January 26th 2009. Try as I might, I will never be back to the person I was or that I was meant to be.